Simplicity in Solidity

Arms out

Hair knotted

Legs wide

Do you know how nice it is to sleep alone?

I wake up to silence

Sweet silence

Snow dusted outside my window

I forgot how it feels to be alone

Tempted to make rules

Tempted to hold on to this feeling

“no dating this year”

Let’s be honest

I fucking hate rules

They are made to be broken

And trying to hold on?

That is suffering

I’ve pondered my actions from these past months

I see the best in others

I don’t discriminate

Maybe I should

I see you

your crooked smile

bizarre quirks

deep insecurities

That’s the beauty of you

I appreciate you

Months ago

broken hearted

unsure

terrified

I was slapped in the face by my conscious

Whoever is loved by me is lucky

My love is kind, generous, flexible

At that time

I was unable to direct that love inwards

I wasn’t sure how

I needed to switch tracks

Yet the train I was on was moving too quick

I continued to stay with myself

    felt the rejection

    the un-sureness

    the sadness

let it bring me to my knees

I kept coming back to myself

reminding myself to feel

The feels will pass when I let them out

and they did

Now

Here I am

Alone and confident

Knowing I can rest here

I’ve got my own back

This feeling

it’s so familiar

I have felt it most my life

This time it has a different flare

No longer do I feel made of fire

I see the fiery side
she’s there, waiting

If someone crosses me,

I have no doubt she will come raging

This is something different

A calmness

A knowing

An acceptance

A trust

A new chapter