generous love

His oversized hands gently caress my hair

I can’t open my eyes

The sun gleaming through the cracked shades is too bold, too shocking

Sleep permeates my room

I lay there motionless

Maybe he will go back to sleep

Maybe he will love me in that half assed fashion

And will stop touching me and flip over

Hey, he tried to wake me up briefly

And he sweetly continues to run his fingers through my hair

He doesn’t speak

He loves on me

He moves to my arms

Barely skimming their surface

Fingertips touching so lightly

Giving me chills to my bone

I open one eye, bearing to see this sweet thing’s face

He’s smiling

Eyes half open

Kind, large, vulnerable, amber brown

He doesn’t speak

He carefully moves me closer to him

Holding me for the last few minutes before he has to leave our cocoon

He kisses me all over

Tenderly and generously with no words

I know he expects nothing in return

And I’m not used to this

I can smell his skin as he moves around me gently

I relax completely

This is how it feels to be taken care of

I smile, slowly opening my heavy eyes

Good Morning Sweets

I say

And he smiles

Hugging me tighter, softly kissing my cheeks

He knows how to love another

He is beginning to understand how I work

And I am letting him in

Tribe

Today I was blessed with seeing a dear sister from Hawaii.

As I have spoken about, I have felt disconnected in the past few months; in limbo, unsure of anything, anyone and anywhere.

My relationships, quality of life and conscious choices have reflected this over and over.

Today, I was reminded of my belonging; that I have found my tribe. I have found members of my soul family in many places around the states. Hawaii being the most populated. They are just like me. Yet each unique. We don’t give a damn about what you do for a living. We care about what sparks your fire! We don’t have walls up around our hearts, we hold our heart in our hands willing to share what we have. We don’t beat around the bush. She asked me how I wasn’t losing my shit this winter. And I laughed. Straight to the point, damn I missed this!

When we speak to you, we listen. We care about you. We take chances and move quick, we know our time is short and there’s so much to experience.

(This is one of my loves from Hawaii; Julia)

Seeing my sister made me re-member all this. What I believe in. What I live for. How I live.

Her eyes were full of life, like I remembered. Days we spent at 4 mile soaking up the sun, dipping into the warm Pacific Ocean and I always remembered her eyes. Reflecting the clear teal water back at me; full of emotion, understanding and curiosity.  In the crisp mountain air I smiled, feeling the warmth of her presence washing over me.  Comfort, belonging, acceptance… It all came back to me.

I do belong.

You belong.

Your tribe is out there.

I promise.

I found mine

And damn, I’m grateful.